“If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority.” – Unknown
First dates can either be magical, embarrassing, or a little bit horrifying. It’s always scary to put yourself out there as a potential romantic partner for someone new. For most people, first dates tend to be two people who are both equally nervous and equally awkward, which means that you’re not always getting the correct impression that the person wishes to leave.
When someone is more relaxed, they may be a completely different person than when they’re nervous and anxious. The real question is: how do you know whether or not that first date should become a second?
Here Are Some Signs Someone Deserves To Be Your Partner
1. There’s a reason you’re unsure…
If you find yourself trying to decide whether or not you should take them out for a second date, that’s almost always a sign that you should. Knowing whether or not someone will work with you is kind of instinctual. You won’t need that second date to know you two won’t work. But if you’re just a little bit curious what they might be like the second time around, booking that second date is always the right choice.
2. Your encounters are respectful…
Although you may be more interested in getting along and have the same taste in movies and humor, think about how much your date showed in terms of signs of respect. For example, did your date show up later, but not apologize? Respecting your time is part of respecting you. If your date was late, but apologized and explained the situation, it shows that they’re respectful and more likely to respect you in the future. Lack of respect is a red flag for an unhealthy relationship.
3. Your mind feels fresh and clear about how you want your relationship to grow.
You may be judging your date unfairly when trying to decide if you should give them a second date. You may also be allowing your feelings about past relationships cloud how you feel about your date. Make sure that you’re looking at things with a fresh and clear mind. The person that you’re dating now deserves a fair chance, and they won’t get that if you’re mentally comparing them against former relationships.
4. There is a good flow of communication.
This is important when evaluating whether or not you can want to go on a second date (or even a third or fourth!). If the topic of conversation was stagnant, or if your date kept turning the conversation onto themselves rather than sharing the spotlight, you may not want to schedule that second date. On the flip side, if it felt like you were never about to run out of things to talk about, you’re probably going to enjoy a second date.
5. Positive non-verbal communication.
The thing about people is that we have all kinds of ways of communicating with one another, and not all of them are with our voices. Nonverbal communication is just as important in determining how you feel about someone, or how someone feels about you, as verbal communication is. If your date was sending all the right signals, such as leaning forward and looking you in the eyes, this is big sign that you’ll both enjoy a second date together.
6. They are different than past relationships…
Relationships sometimes fail because we keep trying to recreate the relationships that we were in before. One of the best indicators that your date will work out is if they’re obviously different from people you’ve dated before- and this may very well mean avoiding unhealthy or one-sided relationships. Maybe different is exactly what you need to be able to move forward with a new and unique relationship.
7. THEY AREN’T PLAYING GAMES
Rather than trying to make you guess how they feel, or refusing to text back just to get a reaction, they’re being open and honest with you. People who play games aren’t worth the time it takes to learn the ever-changing rules. If this person refuses to play games, then that means they’re ready for a second date just as much as you are, and they’ll appreciate it way more than anyone who wastes your time.
8. YOU HAVE THE SAME VALUES
More important than aligning to compatible interests are your values. If you’re on a date with someone who has completely different moral values than you, then it may be a sign that it’s not going to work. On the other hand, someone whose values align with your own, and who respects the ones that don’t, is someone who’s going to be worth calling for a second date.
9. YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE
If you find yourself intrigued, it’s probably a sign that you should have that second date. The people that you’re going to enjoy spending time around and giving your love to are the people who make you want to uncover them. Being interested in the other people is an important part of deciding whether or not that second date is around the corner.
10. THEY WERE NERVOUS
If during the first date, they were a bit nervous, it means that they actually care about what you think of them. Someone who is over-confident and cocky is probably enjoying the attention that you’re giving them, rather than caring about whether or not you like them. Someone who is nervous is going to be truer to themselves.
If you’re still trying to decide whether or not to plan that second date, maybe the items on this list will convince you. A first date isn’t always the perfect picture, and a second one will give you more insight to this new person. And who knows- maybe they’re in the same boat trying to figure the same thing about you!